


What Lovers Do

by ThursdayNight95



Series: Caffeine [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Interspecies Relationship(s), Love, M/M, Prosthesis, Relationship Problems, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-07 23:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15230418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThursdayNight95/pseuds/ThursdayNight95
Summary: Things are complicated. Xavier's dealing with his life falling to pieces and a new hand. Connor's trying his damndest to get over what happened and be a good lover. Hank's just trying not to go crazy.





	1. Chapter 1

Happy endings are all well and good, but life isn't like that. Life continues on until you die. Which could have been many times for Xavier.

It was a small church. The pews were crowded with Martha's family, friends. Grieving, sobbing into their hands, asking God why she was taken this way.

They didn't even get a chance to see her face before she Left. And now no one would. But after nearly being killed by his own lover, could Xavier hate Riley any more?

"Yes, God has taken Martha away from us. Yes, it was scary. But God had her soul long before she died. God would never put an innocent soul through that pain. She went peacefully."

He wanted to believe that was true. Martha didn't deserve to suffer. But the reality was suffocating (and not just because he was almost choked to death).

The family told stories of Martha. How excitable and joyous she was. Some didn't even know she was in such a deep relationship with Riley. They were angry. But there was no time to be angry during a funeral. Just time to reflect.

He stood in silence as the casket was lowered into the ground. Open heart vulnerable and aching in pain.

Martha was in the ground. There weren't many tears. Martha didn't go out easy, but she was at peace now. He wanted to believe she knew what happened. That she knew the small amount of truth he knew. Which in reality, it was nothing. Yeah, a note drove some of those androids crazy somehow, but Riley never touched that note.

"Hey! You're Xavier." a furious voice stopped him before he got to his car.

"Yeah... How're you feeling?" Yikes. It was horrifying seeing how much Martha looked like her mom. The same dark curls, brown eyes and tan skin. Their voices even sounded alike. It was like seeing a ghost.

His cheek stung sharply. He sucked in the warm March air through his teeth and held his cheek.

"What the fuck?" he demanded, backing into his car.

"Your fucking * _cousin_ * did this. Why didn't you stop her? You could've saved my baby girl!" her voice cracked.

Xavier's stomach felt tight and he swallowed hard. "I-I had no idea. How was I supposed to? I-I'm sorry, Miss Helen."

Xavier flinched as she raised her hand again, but Mr Helen stopped her.

"Leave the man alone, Maria. His android tried to kill him too." Mr Helen took his temporary hand. "I... I have to know. Why did Riley do it?"

"I don't know." Xavier pulled his hand away and put his arms behind his back. "There's a lot we still can't figure out. The brains of the case is off of it for the most part," he said of Connor. And maybe saying 'the brains' at a funeral of someone who got shot in the head wasn't a good idea. Dumbass. "It seems to us that the androids were accessed remotely, but we don't know if they were accessed to kill the humans, or only accessed when her identity was trying to be uncovered... It's still ongoing. That's all I know, sir. Sorry."

Mr Helen sighed angrily.

"You're still with that fucking thing?" Oh boy. Flip-flopping. "After it tried to kill you? After Martha was killed?"

"I don't feel comfortable with this right now. I-I know you're upset about Martha. So am I. But we still need time to figure things out. But you guys will be the first to know."

Xavier didn't linger much longer. He took a long look at Martha's headstone. Took a deep breath. And drove two hours back home.

-

Seeing Connor's room filled with papers again sent a sense of fear down his spine. For a moment he felt detached, afraid. But he sat on the floor with Connor.

The android's eyes met his. Then trailed to his arm.

"What are you up to, Bob?" Xavier asked, instinctively hiding his arm away.

"Researching your cousin. How was the funeral?" Then Connor furrowed his brows and cleared his throat. "I mean... I... Uh. Funerals aren't fun, I didn't mean to imply that."

"I know what you meant. I finally got some closure, seeing her being put in the ground. Knowing she can rest easy." his breath shook and he clenched his fist. "People had questions for me I couldn't answer."

"I figured as much."

"So... Where is she now?" Xavier looked at the laptop and the papers. "Did you guys get pictures of her place or something to find out what crazy tech she was using to control you guys?"

"She destroyed the laptop she was working on. That seemed to be the only place she worked on her... experiments with." Connor leaned back and sighed. "I just don't understand... The notes? The killings? You said you didn't know her very well, and your family refuses to cooperate."

"Why would they cooperate, Connor? They think she's right. They all do. Except maybe Janice, but she hasn't spoken to any of us since '35."

Connor sighed deeply and rubbed his temples.

"Babe. Aren't you supposed to be taking a break?" Xavier asked, not even thinking as he ran his fingers along Connor's arm. Of course there was barely any sensation. This wasn't his hand. And that made Connor uncomfortable.

"Taking a break is a waste of time." he said firmly. "I plan on going to Toledo myself, if Hank won't drive me. I'm going to solve this."

Xavier bit his lip. What was the proper thing to say?

"Did they ever find her?" he repeated.

"They thought they'd cornered her in a parking lot, but she managed to escape. Her whereabouts are unknown. So sending in an android built to hunt down and find criminals is too stupid, isn't it?" Connor rolled his eyes.

"Do you wanna watch TV? Swamp Murders is back on tonight."

"No. Not tonight."

Xavier nodded slowly.

"You don't even like Swamp Murders."

"You do, though." Xavier smiled a bit. "Remember our deal? You watch Bridezillas with me, I watch Swamp Murders with you?"

"Not tonight." Connor repeated.

Xavier slept alone again for the first week in a row.

-

"I just can't, Hank. Every time I look at his arm I-I just get... I get upset." Connor explained, trying his best not to raise his voice. Xavier's medicine made him sleep later, but was very prone to waking up at even the slightest noise.

"So you're just never gonna look at him again?" Hank threw his hands up in the air. "You're gonna keep avoiding him like he's some freak and not your boyfriend?"

"It's not like that!" his voice cracked, LED red. "I love him!"

"Then fucking act like it, boy." Hank grumbled.

"I did that to him. I am the sole reason a part of his body is gone. I'm the reason he's like that. That's not something I can forgive myself over."

"He's already forgiven you like 15 times."

"I don't care."

"Then I guess I can't help you. But weren't you the one telling me to get over my issues long ago? To move on from the past and change my future or some shit?" Hank put his hands in his pocket. "You're lucky. You've got a living person who loves the shit out of you to talk to.  That's what you do in a relationship. Ya talk it out."

"I can't."

"You can't, or you don't want to?"

"I want to find Samantha and figure out what the fuck is going on! I want to be back on the case! I want to know about the notes, and I want the Spruce family to cooperate!" the bowls and cups on the table jumped and the napkins fell over.

"So do I, dumbass. So do the victims' families." Hank said dully. "But let me tell you-- man to man. If you keep ignoring and avoiding Xavier like this, you're gonna lose him."

Hank grabbed his keys and left to the police station. Xavier's bedroom door was opening. Connor didn't want to be here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of thinking about things i guess

The idea of pressing issues Connor didn't want pressed on was probably a bad one. But being alone in his bed after getting so lost in the android's warmth and love... goddamn it hurt. It's not like Xavier didn't try to get the small touches back. He wanted the real smiles back, the looks of anything but pity and sorrow in Connor's eyes. He didn't want Connor to spot him and suddenly run back into his room or suddenly remember some alleged business in who-fucking-knows-where.

Maybe Xavier made a mistake. People fall out of love. So could androids. Who would love a handless freak anyway? A constant reminder of a mistake he made? Of something he could never take back? Fuck. Xavier sat up and got dressed. No more sitting around and moping. Be a little productive. Sit at a * _coffee shop_ * and try to distract yourself. Works like a charm most the time.

Still, his mind still wandered to the main issue. Connor wouldn't stop loving him because he was an amputee now, right? No. No. That was the irrationality talking. He grabbed his keys and got into the car. * _If the dude would just fucking talk to me then maybe this wouldn't be so hard._ * But maybe it would be too much. Connor wanted to be alone. So Xavier would give him the space, no matter how much it hurt.

Oh shit, he had a prosthesis appointment today. If he started driving now, he'd only be 20 minutes late.

Hell, maybe the hand thing wasn't really the problem. Maybe Connor just didn't know how to tell someone it was over.

-

In two weeks he'd have the bionic hand from CyberLife. Maybe he'd look normal enough for Connor again. Though, the badass brass and copper steampunk look of his current arm and socket were cool as hell. He really liked it. It was subtle when it was under sleeves, too!

The strong scent of Robusta coffee brought him back to reality. Sugary syrups and cream, fresh pastries, that delicious caramel they handmade here... All ruined by the smell of a full can of spicy deodorant.

"Fancy meetin' you here."

Xavier wasn't really sure if he should acknowledge the asshole behind him. Maybe he should roll his eyes, or say something snarky-- or hell, just walk away. But then again, negativity could only make things worse, right? With a deep, calming breath, he turned and looked in Gavin's general direction.

"Whatcha usually get here? I'll get you some."

... Weird. But free coffee was free coffee, so he told Gavin his order and waited, hands in his jacker pocket, turning his phone in one, mentally begging for a text from Connor.

What was Gavin's motive? Olive branch or not, this guy was always an asshole to Connor and Hank. But especially Connor. But if this was a legitimate attempt at peace, Xavier would entertain it.

"So... Any idea where Samantha might be?"

"No goddamn clue." Gavin leaned against the bar. Xavier did not keep eye-contact with him. "Turns out your boyfriend's good for somethin'. The damn thing's a bloodhound. Put it on the crime scene and it'd sniff the perp out miles away."

Breathe, Xavier. You're glaring holes into your shoes.

"I really hope you're not calling Connor 'it' and 'thing'."

Gavin jumped and slid a ways from Xavier.

"You better be talking about a real fucking machine." Xavier growled.

"Sorry." Gavin stammered.

"Whatever." He'd made an attempt to leave, but his coffee was almost finished.

"Look, I'm sorry, alright? It's a habit."

"What do you want from me, man?" Xavier asked.

"I can't just buy you some coffee?"

"I'm not used to you of all people being nice."

"Okay. Listen. I feel pretty bad for letting you into the station. The fucking thing-- * _He_ * ended up mauling you."

"It was my own damn fault!" A few people turned their heads at the outburst. Xavier lowered his eyes and voice. "He was possessed. I-I mean, he's still so upset about it he won't even talk or look at me much anymore."

"Hey. You can always talk to me. Detective Gavin Reed at your service." He winked.

Gross.

"Maybe we can talk once you change your attitude to my friends. Especially Connor."

"What? C'mon, man."

"Yeah. Believe it or not, I don't wanna be friends with a guy who shits all over my boyfriend." he took the coffee as it was handed to him. "So if you wanna be anything more than a nuisance to me, start treating him like a fuckin' person."

"Look-- I just don't like the thing-- the * _dude_ *, alright? He's a real fuckin' smarmy prick and his fuckin' voice pisses me the fuck off."

"You heard me, asshole. Thanks for the coffee." And with that, he tipped the barista and left.

"Fuckin' crazy android lovin' prick."

-

Buying gifts was all he knew, really. Most of closets in the house were full of things Xavier had bought for them, and now Connor's fish tank was the next victim. Glittery smooth river rocks and a sweet little lobster-tank house (with the tags still on) were placed into a gift box with a bow on top. Knocked on Connor's door and waited for a response with bated breath.

Connor wasn't home yet.

He went in and placed the gift next to the fish tank. The little android fish seemed to love swimming through the bubbles for some reason. And the betta model he got Connor loved to swim around the scuba diver decoration. But sticking around in this room, watching the fish, smelling the lingering smell of Connor's cologne made his heart ache. He fled to the living room with a tablet. Watching tutorial videos with Sumo was a good distraction.

He sent Connor and 'i love u <3' text.

It was left on read.

So he slid his phone away and tried his damndest to think of how to fix this. Sumo cuddled up to him to keep him from crying.

Maybe Xavier was too clingy.

An hour later, Hank was home. Not a Connor to be seen.

Hopefully he was okay...

"Evening, Hank. How was work?"

"Eh. Same shit different day." he shrugged. "Sorry for not bringin' Connor. He wanted to be alone for a while."

"I wish he'd just tell me that." Now he felt like triple shit for sending that last message. "The cold brew's, well, brewed. Just don't drink too much-- it's super strong."

"Thanks." Hank nodded. "I wanna talk to ya."

"Today's your lucky day, then. What d'ya need?" he snorted.

"I'm real happy about your new love for life. Seein' you so positive and happy and appreciating the little things, it's what life's about." Hank smiled some. "But it ain't good to bottle that negative shit up. Not healthy."

"Neither was what I was doing before." Xavier furrowed his brow.

"I guess I just wanna know what's really goin' on. If Connor won't talk to ya, I will."

Xavier touched his chest. "Aw. Thanks, pops. Really. But I'm fine. As fine as a guy in my situation can be, anyway. Which, if you compare it to what other people are going through--"

"Nah, shut up. We're not about to compare your problems to anyone else's."

"If you're worried that I'm gonna try to kill myself again, don't." he smiled sadly. "Just stressed. And overwhelmed. I miss him holding me and holding my hand and smiling at me but now I just feel like a freak because he won't even look at me any more!" Sumo repositioned himself next to Xavier. Hank sat down next to him as well and pat his back. "I know he feels responisble. I know he's hurting! I want to talk about it but-- He won't. I can't... I just... I feel so alone."

"For such advanced tech, he can sure be such a fucking dumbass sometimes." Hank shook his head. "He loves you. He really does. But if things don't work out, they don't work out. And if he keeps ignoring you when you need him and avoiding you... I mean, that's serious, ya know?"

"He doesn't know any better. He's-- he's just..." Xavier wiped his eyes and got up. "I'm sleeping at my place tonight. Good night Hank. And good night, Sumo." he looked at Connor's door for a moment, and went on his way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally

Xavier had grown some sort of fondness for neon signs. They were everywhere. He wanted the place to be a sort of dream cafe that looks like a bar, but serves coffee, with a retro 80's/90's feel. The kitchen was loaded with coffee making stuff, including some expensive but 'aesthetic' (and fully functional) espresso machines and all-in-one coffee makers. Never used. Well, okay, one was used, but only because Xavier couldn't use his hand to grind the coffee beans correctly.

There was also some neon fish in the small hallway leading to the bathroom. Most amusing, though, was the 'OEPN' sign next to his door. Xavier had seen that at a garage sale and just had to get it.

His room, however, wasn't full of neon or retro, vintage, or antique anything. Simple bedsheets, his clothes, a couple of books on android repair and self-help, and then the things for his arm. Most of his stuff was at the Anderson house.

This was his home when he wanted to be alone with Connor. To watch movies, to experience things they were curious about, to talk about surprises for Hank without getting caught.

And waking up alone was lonely. But at least he got some texts.

'Could you call me when you wake up? -Connor'

Oh. Was this good or bad? His attempt at touching his chest was met with the realisation that he didn't have a hand. Like forgetting the last step in a stairwell. For a moment he could feel his fingers moving as they used to. His palm laying flat against his chest. But that wasn't his life any longer.

Then it was like he forgot again as he pushed himself up on the Queen-sized bed, but failed because he had no support.

He hated using his left hand. He decided to shower. Calling Connor would have to wait until after he was clean and had his arm back on.

Somehow it felt wrong calling him. Was he just sitting there, waiting for Xavier to call? Was he busy? Was he angry? Even worse, was he depressed? The only way to find out was to call.

The phone didn't even get one ring out before Connor picked up.

"Xavier!"

He couldn't help but smile. What a cute guy Connor was.

"Mornin', Connor. It's nice having you actually * _want_ * to talk to me." He leaned against the pleather couch and tapped his plastic fingers against cushion.

"I know... I wanted to know if I could visit you. At your apartment."

"You're not gonna fuck your way outta this one, babe." then he paused. "Well. Maybe."

"That wasn't the intent, to be honest with you. I just wanted to talk."

"Wow. I must be dreamin'. Well, you have a key. Let yourself in, I'll start making the coffee."

"... Thank you, Xavier. See you soon."

It took ten minutes for Connor to show up. Ten minutes of stress, of wondering what this talk was going to be, of hoping and praying that this wasn't going to be the end. Ten minutes of practicing conversation with a man he's cried his eyes out to. Why was he so nervous? Why couldn't he relax? And it wasn't until Connor knocked that Xavier realised he was still in his tank top and boxers. He cursed and grabbed his hoodie to hide his arm.

Connor was as lovely and sorrowful as ever. His eyes misted over, his LED was already yellow, and they had only now met eyes! But before Xavier could open his mouth, he was pulled into a big warm hug. Protective. Suddenly this place felt like home again.

"I'm sorry." Connor said against his ear, voice cracked and broken. Xavier tried to quell the shaking with his own arms. Connor's hands had gone white and were finding comfort in Xavier's skin. "I love you. I really do. I've been so stupid lately! Making mistakes, acting irritable and rude towards the man I love." he pulled away and held Xavier's shoulders, staring him in the eyes. "You deserve better than me, Xavier."

"Whoa, you lost me there." Xavier pulled away and closed the door. Ran his hands through his hair. Sighed. "This isn't... it's not a break-up visit, is it?"

"No. U-unless you..." Connor sat on the armchair of the couch and looked at his feet in silence. Xavier stood next to him and rested his human arm on Connor's head, like an armrest. Usually this would earn a small smile from Connor, or a pull into a kiss. This time it didn't.

"I don't wanna." Xavier said. "I want my friend and boyfriend back."

"Is Hank not friendly to you anymore?" There was legitimate concern from the poor android.

Xavier massaged his temples.

"I was talking about you, babe."

"Oh." Connor seemed confused. "I assumed those were mutually exclusive terms. But... Yes. You are my dear friend. And I haven't even been treating you like one lately."

Was he reaching for Xavier's bionic hand? Did he know what he was doing? Xavier was hesitant to give it to him. It could ruin the progress they just made. Heart pounding in his chest, he met Connor's hand. There was no sensation-- this was still the steampunk hand-- but he still felt some sort of shock. Fear deep in his stomach. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. Connor's LED was flickering, cycling red and yellow. Face twisted up in pity and guilt.

But he held it softly and pressed a kiss to it. Xavier wiped the tear from his lover's cheek. Kissed his forehead in return.

"I'd give anything to take what I did back. But that's impossible." Connor said. "All I can do now is be there for you, like a real friend and lover would do."

"Hey. I don't know what it's like on your side of the situation. Honestly, if we were switched," he made the motion of them switching places. "I'd probably be fucked up too. But I want you to know that it wasn't your fault, baby. I went in there. It wasn't you who did this. It was a collab with me and that crazy fucking bitch Samantha. If it were up to me, I'd have her put to death."

Connor admired the work of the hand and the socket. And the neural work was incredible. It moved just like Xavier's hand used to. Even the little twitches and stretches.

"If we catch her alive she'll likely be sentenced to 30 years at the very least." Connor said softly.

Xavier shivered as Connor pulled him closer by his waist.

Connor noticed how the bionic hand even made the surprised gestures, lingered on them, and fell back into Connor's hair. Yes, getting used to this would be difficult. But it would be even harder for Xavier to do it. Especially alone.

"When you get your hand from CyberLife..." Connor began, muscle memory trailing his hands over freshly-showered skin. "There's something I'd like to try, if you don't mind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> """the negotiator"""


	4. small park date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some down time

A date at the park was the plan. Something to clear both of their heads. It wasn't too hot outside and Xavier had a hankering to get on the swings. The smell of fresh blooming flowers swirled through the air. Clipped grass, ice water, white fluffy clouds in the sky. Children screaming as they played tag, people talking. The reflection of the sun bounced off the fountain like glitter. The mist felt so nice against sun-warmed skin.

Xavier had on a short sleeved shirt that just proclaimed 'SPORTS' in big bold academy letters and some cargo shorts. Connor was his opposite with a fancy dress shirt with rolled up sleeves and some slacks. But that fucking fish tie really tied the whole outfit together and threw Xavier into the occasional fit of snickering.

They both planned on getting something for Hank. After all, the man was stressed after all the drama and the lingering feeling of dread about this entire thing seemed to consume them all. So why not ignore everything and go to the park? And then bring Hank some stuff from the antique stores! Connor thought it was a good idea, at least.

Connor also thought it would be a 'cool' idea to bring some Bomb Pops to 'beat the heat'.

"I assume since I can ingest liquids, popsicles would be easy." he mused.

"How'd you know I liked the America flavor?" Xavier asked.

"I didn't." he paused. "America flavor? How patriotic."

What a cute little smile Connor had. Xavier put his hand over Connor's and squeezed it. The fountain water hit their backs as they indulged  in the sugary treats. Xavier's mind went to a lot of things. The double entendres of the popsicles (which may not have been on purpose, but he couldn't tell), his prosthetic hand- both current and future, the case, and Connor and Hank. The America flavor of Bomb Pops made him think of summer. Hot evenings full of screaming cicadas, mosquitos, and watermelon. Jumping in the pool and playing marco polo no mater how old he was. His 4th of July party with Martha last year where Xavier got so drunk he sung Star Spangled Banner loud enough to have the cops called on him.

He smiled fondly.

"I really should've brought napkins." Connor snorted. "I suppose the only option is to eat popsicles shirtless."

"What a real tragedy." Xavier wiggled his eyebrows. "Whoa-- what's with you and consuming things in one gulp? You're like a fuckin' snake!"

Connor's popsicle was gone and he dipped his hands in the fountain to clean the stickiness off.

"I already know you don't have a gag-reflex, Bob. Don't gotta prove nothin' to me." Xavier took cleaning off the base of the popsicle dripping over his hand and onto his pants.

"Mmm, you're not impressed?"

"Shit. You know what would really impress me? In school we'd get these really long rainbow popsicles." he used his popsicle for reference and lifted his arm up some. "They really seemed like they were a foot long, but anyway, if you could shove it down to the red at the bottom, you were the coolest middle-schooler on the block." He put his popsicle in his mouth and tried to even recall the name of it.

"I wonder how many children died trying to attempt that." he began to scan some of the relevant information, but was stopped by a gentle hand on his arm.

"I mean a few kids threw up, but no one choked and died, dude. Not in my school anyway." then he grinned. "I tried it last year. Made it halfway on the orange."

"I wouldn't doubt it, dear. You certainly have that skill in your repertoire." Connor winked and adjusted his silly tie. Suddenly his gears shifted into overdrive. But why? He was satisfied yesterday. Connor leaned back on the balls of his hands and watched Xavier finish off his popsicle then reposition himself. Poor humans, unable to control the way their body reacted to things. At least it was somewhat amusing to watch.

"You're a real bastard, you know?" Xavier rinsed his hands in the fountain and dried the prosthetic off with his shirt. Moved the fingers to make sure it still worked, despite knowing it was waterproof. "Fuckin' with me in public like this?"

"I could be a lot worse." Connor shrugged, smirk still on his face. "But, we could cut this event early and go back to your apartment."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Well, tough." he fished a coin from the fountain and flipped it. "While we wait, wanna teach me your coin tricks?"

"Mm? Of course!"

-

"Your face seems to soften at the sight of dandelion puffs." Connor said. "Why is that?"

"What? Oh." he pulled his eyes away from the small patch of wishes and to his own shooting star. "This whole day sorta has me nostalgic." he admitted. "When I was a kid, me and my brother would go into the field across the street and blow out the dandelion puffs 'till we were lightheaded. Then we'd go inside the house for some cold soda and toast."

"Cold toast?"

"Just the soda was cold. I don't know why we had toast with it. We just did." he smiled, thumb running over the top of Connor's hand. "I can't remember any of the wishes we made. I wonder if any came true."

"Statistically speaking, at least one might have 'come true' if you had realistic wishes." Connor informed him, steering them to the dandelions. The sky was a cozy tangerine and pastel pink by this time. Crickets sung their songs and the park lights were gonna join in soon.

"Pretty sure I wished for a robot arm at one point." Xavier snorted, bending down to pick one with said arm. "And I've already got a wonderful partner with me." he said warmly as he watched Connor carefully pick one from the base of the small thicket. "I know what I wanna wish for."

And he blew it out. The seeds carried his wish into the wind.

"I don't believe in things like this usually. But maybe putting the superstition into my head will make it more likely to happen." he sighed. Met Xavier's eyes. "I'm not supposed to tell the wish, am I?" And after Xavier shook his head, Connor blew the dandelion out. For a moment they sat, watching their wishes dance in the wind.

Connor had no idea his wish was already in progress.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new arm get

Sometimes you just wanna buy your dad a cake for putting up with all your bullshit. Hank was very pleased with it, but awfully suspicious of a random cake and jazz record.

"Is there somethin' you guys wanna tell me?" Hank blinked, handing Xavier a slice of the lemon cake, then digging into his own piece. "Xavier-- you pregnant?"

"Yeah, I'm on my third trimester, pops." Xavier patted his stomach.

"You pregnant too, Connor?" Hank pointed his fork to the somewhat amused android.

"No." he couldn't come up with anything funny. He was preoccupied. "In all honesty, Hank, we wanted to say thank you." he smiled. "You're a wonderful man, putting up with the two of us."

"For real." Xavier said. "You were there for me when all that shit was goin' down... And you even stayed at the hospital with me and the prosthetist and... Saved my fucking life..." he chuckled. "You really are the man."

Hank's blue eyes met Xavier's. Then Connor's. Then he smiled and gave them both a big hug.

-

"Did the bot ever find anything out?" Gavin asked, taking his feet off his desk. "With all that time spent ignoring his boyfriend you think somethin' worthwhile woulda came from it."

"Hasn't told me anything." Hank finished off the last of his coffee and made his way to the evidence room. "You'd think since our girl's Xavier's cousin we'd get some more info. Surprisingly, none of the family will pick up the phone from random numbers."

"What, pretty boy can't call them?"

Both Connor and Xavier were pretty in a way. But Gavin wouldn't call Connor pretty. And the way his voice softened... Gross.

"Are ya stupid? His family hates him. Especially since he's with an android." Gavin walked over to the evidence and inspected everything.

"I'd be pretty mad too if my son was killed by an android." Gavin folded his arms. "You know, these notes... We're a few weeks from cracking the one we found on this one." He pointed to Riley's body. "But I think they're all red herrings. They got Connor so focused on them that he didn't pay attention to the bigger picture."

"Which is...?"

Gavin opened his mouth, then looked at his feet. "Dunno... Thought sayin' it out loud would give me a bright idea." he admitted. "So this one, the one that attacked Xavier. This one shut down and can't be brought back..."

"Fried circuits."

"How is it possible for one person to do this remotely? I really doubt touching a note could transfer a virus that strong. Not when it came from some fucking neet in her basement."

"You think these models were defective before?" Hank squinted at the androids hanging from the wall like trophies. "Nothing came up on the tests. What's June's status?"

"Still in Standby. Her girlfriend came by demanding for her to be let out. She told her she wanted to be careful and kept herself like that. Why, wantin' to wake her up?"

Hank nodded. "The virus was out of Connor after the whole shebang." he sighed. "I'll gather up some folks and maybe even Connor to take her to CyberLife. Or hell, even to a repair store."

"How do you know he isn't infected anymore?"

"We don't." Hank drummed his fingers on his thigh. "We just don't."

÷

Xavier sighed lazily, burying his face in Sumo's fur. Tomorrow was the day he got his new hand. Tomorrow maybe Connor would feel easier looking at him. Maybe things would be easier in general.

It couldn't get rid of the feeling of a missing limb, but it would be close enough, right? More natural than this one. Easier to control and softer to the touch, he hoped.

It would have to be for the thousands he was paying for it. No more pinching his own skin, no more leaving bruises on himself or the sun getting the hand hot enough to burn. No more itching, no more soreness...

"So I heard you and Gavin met at the coffee shop a few days ago." Connor had changed into his lounging clothes-- a Slipknot shirt from Hank's closet and some pyjama pants and some socks. His voice was deep and while his LED was blue for the most part, his face was hard. There was a spark of... Anger?

"Yeah. Keeps tryin' be friendly then he turns around and shits all over you. Told him I'm not gonna bother with him until he starts treating you right."

"Tell me if he bothers you." Connor said darkly. "I'll deal with him."

"Chill, babe. I'm fine. I can handle myself."

"I know you can." He sat on the couch with the soda he'd gotten himself earlier. Pineapple passion. A favorite of Hank's. "I just want you to know that I'm built to destroy if I have to."

Xavier snorted and moved from the dog to rest his head on Connor's knee and scroll a bit through his phone. "Gonna destroy Gavin for bein' a dumbass? That's one less man on the Samantha case."

"Hmm."

Hmm. Alright. Connor's fingers combed gently through his hair. There was an odd sense of peace. As if saying something vague and threatening like that calmed him down. As long as he didn't attack an innocent person who wasn't provoking him, there wouldn't be a problem.

"Get some rest, love. We've gotta get up bright and early for your hand tomorrow."

And bright and early they were. The trio got to the doctor's just in time to dick around the vending machine. Connor got himself another soda (a Fanta, per Hank's suggestion), and Xavier just got some water. Hank was impatient.

The wait in the office crawled like a snail. The excitement had given way to nervousness. Connor had been stealing nervous looks at Xavier's hand the whole time. Each time was like a critical hit to a vital biocomponent.

It was all his fucking fault they were here in the first place.

The white in this room was too bright.

Xavier looked too nervous.

What would the doctor think, seeing the man responsible for this?

Why couldn't he think? God, why was he thinking so much?

He didn't want to be here, he decided. He wanted to go to the station and be of some use there.

"Babe...?" The worry in Xavier's voice pulled him from the whirlwind of thoughts.

"Hm?"

"Your LED's red... Do you... D'ya wanna leave?" he asked quietly. "I understand. Really."

"I said I was going to be here for you. I'm not going to go back on that." No matter how much he wanted to flee, he would stay.

No matter how much his systems were stalling. No matter how hard he was squeezing the chair. He had to be there for him.

Hank patted Connor's shoulder and held it.

Finally, the prosthetist arrived.

"Wow, full house, huh?" She smiled. "Xavier, Hank, good to see you two. And I've heard a lot about you, Connor."

Connor wasn't sure what to think of that. There's a ton of ways she could have heard about him. The hostage situation, the deviant catching situation, the revolution, this virus incident, the whole breaking-every-bone-in-Xavier's-hand incident... Was this bad? Did she hate him? Did she think this was on purpose?

No, no, she was smiling and her voice was soft. She meant no harm.

"Told you he's much cuter in person." Xavier winked.

"You weren't lying." she giggled. "Well," her focus was on Xavier now as she set the box she was holding on the counter. "have you had any problems lately, with your current set up?"

"No ma'am. Other than the whole..." Oh. Xavier blushed deeply.

"Well, this new one is gonna fix all those problems right up. How's your residual limb feeling? Have you been using the lotion?"

"Yeah. Feels just fine. I think it was the sleeve that was messing me up." he shrugged.

"Can you take your arm off?"

Xavier began to, but then looked at Connor.

Connor didn't want to watch. No sir.

But he did anyway.

He watched the bionic arm give way to the stump that he and only he was responsible for. The entire hand but the wrist, gone. The hand he used to hold so much. Skin he could no longer touch. Muscles and blood vessels he couldn't feel. A whole part of Xavier. Gone.

But the majority of him was still here. The parts that smiled at him, the heart that raced for him, those lovely eyes and that wonderful voice.

Xavier was still here.

Xavier was happy.

Connor wiped his eyes and repositioned himself in his seat. Watched Xavier's eyes light up as the white hand and smaller socket was brought out.

"Connor, you might like this." Mrs Kelly said, a smile on her face. "This is made of the stuff that you're made of. You can even turn the skin projection on and off, once it builds itself up. That might take a few weeks."

"Fuckin' sweet. Can I make my hand all glowy like his too, ma'am?" Xavier tried to lean back on his hands-- caught himself once his brain remembered he was missing something.

"Here's the manual." she slid it over to him. "Can you put this on and tell me how it feels, Xavier?"

Xavier slid the hand on. It fit like a glove. Light blue glowed where the socket met his skin.

"Holy shit. Feels freaky. In, like, a good way." Oh that smile was too much. That joy and excitement in his eyes. Dear lord. That was a face Connor wanted to pepper in kisses. "It feels like when my leg falls asleep." The hand squeezed. He was crying.

"You'll start to feel sensation as soon as we put the chip in your shoulder. Are you ready to do that, Xavier?"

"Yes ma'am." he sniffed. Connor stood up without thinking and wiped Xavier's eyes. God, that smile... It was breathtaking. Xavier could relax.

And the chip was in.

More tears fell down Xavier's cheeks. He wiggled his fingers. Moved his arm. Inspected the custom hand in awe.

"Am I dreaming? Like, is this-- Oh wow, it's all fuckin' glowy!"

"It's adjusting right now."

"Yeah, I can feel it fitting around my wrist and arm... I don't even need a sleeve or a liner or nothin' for this, ma'am?"

"Nope."

"Holy shit..." his voice shook.

"And you can do everything you usually do with it. You can even sleep in it!"

"Oh my god."

Mrs Kelly sighed happily. "Since you have the CyberLife model, it will adapt to you and your life. I would still wait about a month before you start lifting or pulling anything too heavy. But in the next couple of days you should be able to... Uh, use it as you would your regular right hand!" she nodded. "And to take it off, there's a lock you have to press and hold right here," she pointed to a small silver button just a few centimeters before the prosthetic met the skin. "do you have any questions?"

"I'm gonna start bawling, Mrs Kelly... I'm fuckin' hunky dory... I'm..." he touched his own hand-- shocked at the sensation. "I... I don't have any right now. Well-- okay, one. Can I punch people?"

"I would use your left hand until your check-up. Which is in two weeks!"

"Thank you so much, Mrs Kelly. I... I... Wow." he closed his fist. He was like a child. So in awe. So lost in real life it didn't even feel real.

Connor was glad he stayed.

****


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coffee shop talk

There wasn't a damn thing that could stop Connor from working on this case on his own time. Other than Xavier. Xavier was a distraction of the best kind.

Xavier had spent the past few days just touching things. Eyes wide and teary at the sensation of touch again. Running hot and cold tap water over the white skin, pressing ice to it-- Connor even had to stop him from pressing a knife to his fingertip just to see if it felt pain.

He was so enveloped in it. But especially the way Connor's skin reacted to it.

There was something even more special when they held hands. Something breathtaking, something more intimate than they'd ever experienced. Something that still hadn't left his mind since they touched.

No, it wasn't the same level of interfacing that androids had with other androids. Getting a hand made by CyberLife didn't grant Xavier special android strength or sudden magical powers or anything, but it unlocked a sort of intimacy Connor never thought he could experience with anyone, especially a human.

And now Xavier was at work. Working as fast and with almost as much finesse as he used to have. And Connor watched, just as taken as he was before.

"Oh my god, that's your boyfriend?" a coworker giggled. A quick scan showed her name was Lily Quinn. She's been working at this location for five years. Charged with petty theft, apparently.

"Yup." Xavier grinned. "Mornin', babe." he finished up the iced coffee for the customer in  line and gave him the receipt.

"G-Good morning. I just came to come." he shrugged.

"Whoa, TMI!" Lily fanned her face.

Oh god.

"No, I meant-- I meant--!" Connor sputtered. If he could blush he'd be as red as a strawberry. "I like watching him work. It's how we became closer, actually." He smiled warmly as he watched Xavier clean his area and used equipment.

"He's pretty good, yeah." Lily nodded. Then she squinted and titled her head curiously. "You're the negotiator, right?"

"That," Connor watched Xavier clean the coffee grinder with some concern. Luckily he'd unplugged it. "was a different Connor. I was its replacement. It fell from over 100 stories high."

Xavier shivered.

"Damn. Still though, you're full of history, aren't you? You're the android that freed those androids at the CyberLife tower, right?"

"Yes I am." He didn't want an interview, he really just wanted to watch Xavier work before he got back to work himself. Something to cool him down before he got himself stressed again.

"How'd ya get all them out?" Jesus, that country accent really slipped out. Connor couldn't help but smile at it. "Took the elevator out or what?"

"The stairs were ultimately faster. Crowded, but faster." Connor explained. "Why so many followed me without question concerned me, though." he tilted his head. "Why would every single free-thinking android in that tower all decide to follow me?" He looked quizically at his own hands before shaking his head.

"They all wanted freedom, Connor!" Lily smiled big.

"But how do they know they want it? Those androids were never shipped to the stores or used by anyone. They were assembled then put into storage. They didn't know what they were being freed from."

"You're giving me a headache." Xavier blinked. "I mean, amazing job, regardless."

"Do you talk to Markus often?" Lily asked.

"Not as much as I used to, no." Time to get the hell out of here. "Dear, I hate to make you work at work, but do you think you could make me something?"

"It's not work if I enjoy it, Bob. Go ahead." he rubbed his hands together with a small smile.

"A coffee with caramel and some cream to go, if you would."

"Not a problem."

And so Xavier worked his magic. Operated with ease and flourish, living his life as he used to before Connor had ruined it all.

But of course things don't go off without a hitch. Of course they don't. Cuz Gavin made his way through the door as Xavier handed Connor his coffee.

Tension was as thick as the caramel Xavier was putting away.

Everyone was waiting for some snark, some unneeded, cruel comment. But Gavin just glared at Connor, looked at Xavier, then walked to Lily's side of the counter and asked for a black coffee.

"Connor." he was awfully subdued. "We need you at the station tomorrow."

"Did something happen?" Connor asked. Xavier was worried.

"We'll debrief you as soon as everyone gets in." he shook his head and looked impatiently at Lily. He obviously was uncomfortable as well. His eyes occasionally darted to Xavier. Then to his hand. Then to the couple's closeness despite the counter separating them. Then he looked away. "Don't fuck around, make sure you're in by noon at least. And bring any info you got on Samantha, too. Got it?"

"Got it. Speaking of which," he pulled out some cash, handed it to Xavier, kissed his cheek and said, "I'm going to do some research right now."

"Don't drive yourself crazy, babe."

But Connor was already gone.

Xavier sighed and touched the cheek Connor kissed. Unsure whether to speak to Gavin or not. Not sure where the whole Samantha thing was going.

"Got your new hand, huh?" Gavin asked as he was handed his drink. He lingered on Xavier's side. "Blends in better than the other one."

"It's supposed to project skin in a few weeks." Xavier said. Damn, he did * _not_ * wanna be here.

"Well I think it looks cool." Gavin shrugged. "Ya look a whole lot happier, too. But I guess that's cuz that dumbass is finally treating you like a person again, huh?"

"Stop." Xavier put his palm up and shook his head. "We're not doing this."

"Sorry. Look, he's not in any trouble or nothin. The most we're gonna do tomorrow is go through his memories."

"He's... Oh no, he's not gonna like that." Xavier's stomach sunk. "Don't make him relive that. Please."

"We'll see what we can do. But I'm lettin' you know now, alright?"

Lily watched Xavier sigh heavily. Run his hands through his hair. Then wash his hands, lost in thought. Scared of whatever the hell they were talking about. Lily didn't want to pry too much.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> connor gets his memory probed and cries

"You saw how June reacted, and all she did was try to kill Connor and was taken to the back." Hank huffed. "Connor actually almost killed Xavier * _and_ * got his heart taken out * _and_ * shot. I don't want him to relive all that." His face was screwed up with worry. Fear. All that progress made would be squashed. Connor would likely isolate himself again. Or even worse, self-destruct. Hank swallowed the lump in his throat. "If we do anything, all we need to get was before he started acting weird."

"We can't get his entire life up on this tablet." Gavin snorted. "What's he gonna tell us that he hasn't already, huh? The only option is to put his memories here and go through them ourselves. You're suddenly not too happy about it since your fuckin' plastic partner's in the hot seat?"

"June was never gonna self-destruct! Connor just might."

As if on cue, Connor walked through the doors, squeezing something hard in his hand. The fact that his LED was yellow and he only just got here was upsetting.

"Good morning."

"Mornin', Connor."

"Follow us." Gavin lead them to an interrogation room.

Connor wasn't sure if it was on purpose, but this was the room it happened in. He could still see his thirium splattering the walls. All of his blood creating an outline around Xavier's body.

Hank dragged them to a different room with an annoyed Gavin.

"You stay the fuck on this side. Got it?" Hank said, taking the two tablets and bundle of wires from Gavin. "He's stressed enough, and I know you badgering him is gonna make it even worse."

Connor was biting his lip. Looking at his feet. Oh, that was that golden coin in his hand. He tried to flip it, but it fell the first time.

Hank didn't have a good feeling about this.

"I'm sorry, Connor. Really." Hank closed the door with a heavy sigh. "I'm not gonna force you to relive that shit."

"If..." he held his breath. "Why did you bring me here, then? Am I back on the case?"

"We brought you here so you could see if there was anything familiar about June's memory."  he held his breath and reluctantly pressed play.

Connor watched intently. Seeing himself in any danger wasn't scary, but that red vignette over the memory was much like his own during the incident. Except his was a deeper red. He explained this to Hank, who wrote it down, and then replayed the beginning, where June began to glitch.

"Lieutenant, I need a copy of this." he said firmly.

** **OBJECTIVE: PROTECT** **

June's instructions said. He didn't remember any instructions of his own, though. When asked if June remembered, he was told no.

"We'll see what we can do. Thanks, Connor. You can go--"

"Are you kidding me?" Gavin turned off the two way glass and poked it furiously. "We need his memory. I don't give a shit if he cries for a few days. We got a fucking investigation to solve."

"I'm * _not_ * doin' it. Fuck you."

"Hank!" Connor rolled up his sleeve and opened the ports. "I don't want this case to go cold. It'll help us put the pieces together."

"What if you fucking self-destruct, Connor?"

"I won't. You have my word."

Hank's hands shook. Worry was etched deep in his face. Connor didn't want to do this.

"If it saves just one person's life, it's worth it." Connor said firmly. He stuck the wires in his arm and hooked them up to the fresh tablet. "I'll give you a few minutes before it felt like I was being compromised, too."

"You don't have to!"

"Then why take me here? Why waste time, Hank? Let me do this."

Fuck. Shit. He really wanted to hurt himself, didn't he? Hank wanted to yank the cords out, to tell him to go home, they'd find another way! There was always another way! But Connor never listened to him anyway.

Seeing Xavier on that tablet was weird. Hank had seen Xavier plenty, but never from Connor's perspective. Connor seemed to always default to looking at him, into his eyes, at his lips, hands.

The current Connor tensed as past Connor told Xavier about Samantha. His LED was red, flashing. His grip on the chair was warping the metal.

If androids didn't need to breathe, why was Connor doing it so heavily? Why was he allowed to feel all this pain exactly as it happened?

Past Xavier had so much fear in his eyes. So much concern and misery as Connor's systems were accessed.

Another loading screen. His systems in the memory were rebooting-- but Connor in his memory was desperate to fight, trying in real time to fight whatever was scrolling through his vision.

'Sweetheart, wake up!'

Current Connor had managed to completely break the side of the chair he was holding on to. He held himself into a ball, other than his arm out like he had an IV in it.

Hank felt sick. He didn't want to see these two like this. Going over this would drive him crazy. But he was glad he was in here with Connor rather than Gavin, who was probably having a grand time watching him suffer.

The hacking, though, was almost primitive looking. Or like in the movies with the fast looking code.

But he didn't get too good of a look before Xavier was reaching for Connor's heart. Broke his hand and arm. Then began to choke him. Somehow, Xavier managed to get the heart out and impair Connor. The memory's vision was even hazier. The hearing was muffled and full of lots of static. Xavier's eyes were focused on Connor, but they were so damn far away.

And the gunshots were the last thing before the memory cut off.

"If he hadn't taken my heart out I would have killed him." Connor's voice was broken. Shaky hands unplugged the wires and slid the tablet back over. He was twitching. "I... I need to go back home, Hank..."

"Thank you, Connor." He helped the android stand and pulled him into a hug. "Really. I think this'll help us a lot."

"I-I'm glad."

Poor, poor Connor.

-

That was the smell of wood. Freshly cut. Shavings trailed from the front door and into their bedroom. He'd seen Xavier gaze longingly at some wooden carvings at the store, but he'd never seen the man express any interest about doing it himself.

But as soon as Connor announced he was home, Xavier was out of his room and in his arms. Neither of them wanted to let go. Xavier carefully sat down with Connor as the android began to weep. Xavier running hands through Connor's hair, lifting his shirt so his hands could find their home in his skin.

"I love you so much, baby." Xavier whispered, squeezing him tight. Showering him in kisses and love. Cradling him like a parent would a scared child. "You're safe, okay?"

"I'm... I'm okay..." Connor said softly, pressing his ear to Xavier's racing heart and finding Xavier's fingers. The android hands met and began to glow as they pressed their palms together. "I'm here with you... You're here with me... We're alive..."

"That's right. We're okay, babe." He smiled. Connor held his chin and gave him a soft kiss. Xavier returned it and ran his hand through Connor's hair.

"Wait-- Don't move your right hand." Connor gripped it.

"Okay..." he rested his head on the android's shoulder and took a deep breath.

How was this so intimate? How was it so perfect? How could things have worked out this way for them to be able to do this?

"You're so strong... Under the amount of stress you've been in for the past couple of months..." Connor sighed. "I'm so proud of you, Xavier. And I'm so lucky to have you. I just want to stay like this for a while, if you don't mind."

"Shawty I don't... mind," Xavier hummed, relaxing even further into Connor's embrace.

The song made Connor laugh. The smile didn't fade for a while, either. Their fingers laced. Unlaced. Palms met and left, giving way for Xavier to run his hands through Connor's hair again. To run his thumb across Connor's cheek and hold his face. To kiss away the tears (which were not salty. Apparently CyberLife didn't think of everything) and gaze lovingly into his eyes.

"I love you, Connor."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> memories and the future, and a special guest

When Xavier was a boy he wanted to be a robot. A cyborg. He wanted sweet robotic parts and a jetpack permenantly affixed to his back so he could fly to the convenience store with his brother whenever he wanted.

And when he got a bit older, he wanted to make friends with the new technology. With the 'creepy human robots' and the roombas alike. There was nothing wrong with treating things that help you with kindness.

It was just weird. Embarrassing. Why are you thanking a brainless thing that can't even comprehend what you're saying? God, stop helping it out, it's literally here to clean.

The little annoyances soon grew into big problems as their domestic android was getting pushed around.

'Stop shoving her.' Xavier would say, shoving his brother back.

'Her? It's an android. And it's in the way, so move it!' Little Jacob shoved him into the wall.

What was the point in shoving around an android? Why did androids look like people? Why did people spend so much money just to destroy it?

Why did androids bleed?

Xavier apologised to the housekeeping android, made sure she wasn't seriously injured, and went to study up more on fixing androids. And if androids felt feelings. Or if anyone else didn't like it when people yelled at them. Luckily he wasn't alone in those sympathetic feelings on the internet! But home wasn't the internet.

'Stop wasting our bandaids on this thing.' Mr Spruce said, ripping the bandaid from its arm.

'If you'd stop hitting her I wouldn't have to.' Xavier said through his teeth. 'Don't you feel a little bad hitting her? She looks human-- would you hit a human for doing something wrong?'

Mr Spruce took a deep breath. Rolled his eyes. 'I don't want this thing in your room at night.'

'She... she doesn't go to my room at night.' Xavier tilted his head. 'Do you think I'm....? With the family android? Really, dad?'

'Ooh, is Xav fucking the android! Gross!' Jacob snorted.

'Language!'

Xavier's fists were clenched. The anger was overwhelming. You try to stop someone from damaging their own property and all of the sudden you wanna fuck it?

A few months later when Xavier got home from school, the android was in peices. Seeing a human-like thing destroyed was... His stomach felt weak. That glassy look in her eyes. All the blood-- god, it was everywhere. What the hell could she have done so wrong to earn this? Why the hell would you beat an $8000 housekeeper to death?

'Don't fucking touch it!' Mr Spruce shouted. 'I'm on hold with CyberLife right now.'

'What did she do?'

Mr Spruce didn't respond. Xavier wondered how much anger his father really had. And also wondered how angry his father really was if he took it out on something that couldn't defend itself.

The new android was the same model, different look. She seemed to be treated better just because she was more attractive. But she was still called a bitch when she couldn't process things. Called a good-for-nothing when someone had to clean things themselves.

'What? Gonna fuckin' cry again cuz I give this thing a little tap?' Jacob asked. 'You know, you're lucky dad beats this instead of us.'

Mr Spruce never really 'beat' any of them. Sure, he struck fear in their hearts, but any 'beating' would just be some shoving.

They screamed at that poor android. To the point where Xavier would be dizzy. His body wanted him to vomit. At night he'd go downstairs and go to her storage closet. He knew he looked like a fucking loon going down there to speak to an android, but someone in the family had to apologise.

'I dunno why they're so mad. I'm sorry. I really am. You're doing a great job, really!' he whispered. She looked like a Barbie doll. She was in powersaving mode, and probably wouldn't be able to hear him anyway. 'And you make good food. Nothin' compared to my mom's, but I sometimes crave it at school.' This idiot, talking with an android like this...

The android stood still. Silent. Unblinking.

Xavier had left shortly after, feeling like a dumbass. Feeling like maybe he was crazy.

And now Xavier sat at the Anderson household table chipping away at a block of wood. Nothing in mind for this, it was just something he wanted to do.

"Hello, this is Connor." Apparently Connor was the type to pace while he was on the phone.

Hank looked briefly from his own phone and to Connor, who seemed to be begging for help with this call.

"Good morning. I... I'm sorry for the long span of time without any contact. I understand if you're upset." Connor continued, grabbing the coin from his tie and rolling it across his knuckles as he spoke. Even more impressive was when he did the coin tricks * _and_ * paced at the same time. "To make up for the missed Christmas party, I was thinking of us all going to an arcade."

"The androids are gonna destroy us at all those games." Hank whispered to Xavier.

"I dunno, I'm pretty good at DDR..." Xavier whispered back.

"Well, yes, I am." Connor continued in the background. "As you know, if any developments happen, Hank and I will have to leave. Xavier could stay, though, and he's wonderful company." There was a small smile on his face. "So, what do you say?"

Hank hummed the Jeopardy music quietly. They could only assume Kara was talking, and wasn't silent for the entire thing.

"I wonder if they can hack my highscores in Pacman..." Xavier mused.

"You're good at Pacman?" asked Hank. "I don't see too many young folk like you playing a 60 year old game like that for funsies."

Xavier grinned and almost cut his fingertip off with the knife he was chipping the wood with.

"Fantastic! See you next weekend." Connor caught the coin as the call ended and slipped it back into his tie. "Kara, Luther, Alice, Hank, Xavier and myself. I'm not sure what to expect, honestly."

"Expect lots of tickets, bucko. I'm gonna get the biggest stuffed animal there." Xavier winked.

"I'm sure we'll have a blast and a half." Hank leaned back in his seat. "Hopefully it'll help us all relax a bit."

What were Xavier's parents thinking about right now? Were they in a flurry about Samantha? What exactly did they think him and Connor did together that was different than what humans did?

Actually... The fact that he hadn't been contacted at * _all_ * after the past events was extremely weird. Not even an 'I told you so' text from Jacob. No regret phone calls, no checking in, no nothing. Not that Xavier wanted to be in contact with those assholes, but...

Maybe he'd try to talk to Jacob some time.

-

"What're these for?" Hank examined the can of baby corn. "And bean sprouts?"

"It looks like the components to fried rice." Connor concluded. Xavier put some oyster sauce in the cart.

"Bingo. Don't worry, pops, I'm payin' for all my stuff."

"I've never had homemade fried rice." Hank said.

"Neither have I." admitted Xavier, sheepishly. "It if sucks I'll just order us some takeout. So get your phone ready."

They went down the aisles. Connor made sure to grab things they were running low on. Milk, eggs-- nope, not coffee. They were as good as they ever needed to be on that. Xavier grabbed himself some pop tarts, which Connor took and pointed out how unhealthy they were and suggested some oatmeal instead.

"But I can't stick oatmeal in a toaster and have it pop up a minute later." Xavier put the pop tarts back in the basket, frowning slightly.

"The oatmeal will fill you up and give you energy throughout the day." Connor said.

"I mean, ya * _can_ * put oatmeal in a toaster. If you wanna start a fire, anyway." Hank shrugged.

"It's not recommended." Connor glanced at the blue box again, then to Xavier, who put a second, different flavor in the basket. He narrowed his eyes. But a smirk played on his lips, amused by Xavier's attitude.

"Got any other dinner ideas, Xaiv?" Hank asked.

"Frozen pizza."

"Gotcha covered."

Humans had no idea how to eat right. These two, especially. Connor would have to run out on his own to get some fresh meat, vegetables, and fruits to make into a meal for them. A meal healthier than pop tarts and frozen pizza, anyway.

Once they left the store, they caught wind of a familiar face. The face of a revolution. And the face of his consort, who didn't seem too pleased that Markus was making his way over to an android enjoying its life with two humans.


	9. egg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> can i offer you an egg in this tryin time

The androids greeted one another. Markus with an 'Oh, hey Connor!' as warm as the spring air, and the woman with a short, almost cold 'hi'. Connor certainly knew attractive people. Hell, not only were they attractive, but they were androids too. Suddenly Xavier felt out of place.

Connor was talking to a goddamn revolutionary leader! It felt so much like a dream it made Xavier dizzy. Luckily Connor didn't feel pain because Xavier was squeezing his hand hard.

"Good afternoon Markus, North." Connor smiled politely as he pulled back into his group of humans. "What brings you both here?"

"I was visiting Carl." Markus' voice was tight, but loosened up as he continued to speak. Eyes now on Hank and Connor. "Afternoon, Hank."

"Hey. Still fightin' the good fight, Markus?"

"Yes sir." he smiled. Then he met eyes with Xavier, who turned beet red and looked at his feet. "I've never met you before."

Xavier managed to sputter out a greeting before hiding behind Connor to compose himself.

"His name is Xavier. He's my boyfriend." That was such a proud smile in Connor's voice, Xavier's heart was gonna explode.

"Excuse me. * _Boyfriend_ *?" North asked, incredulous. "With a * _human_ *?"

"North, please don't start." Markus whispered.

"After all the humans have done to our people, you wanna live with one and * _date_ * one? Are you crazy?"

Well, time to defend Connor.

"He's a grown man, he can make his own decisions." Xavier said, coming back from behind his Connor-shield.

"He's as * _grown_ * as he was programmed to be!" North shouted.

Stop. Stop. That was weird. Too weird. His stance faltered, but he stood his ground-- until of course Markus pulled North aside. Somehow he talked her into leaving. Not that she was happy about it, but... The conflict was gone.

"I'm sorry about her." Markus said. But he sighed with relief, clasped his hands together and smiled curiously at the couple. "So, how'd you two meet?"

"It was so romantic. Starlit night near the beach. We met eyes across the room at the party--" Xavier was cut off.

"A robber stabbed him and he was bleeding to death. Hank and I took him to the hospital."

"Why don't you let me have fun?" scoffed Xavier.

Markus chuckled and met eyes with Xavier. Xavier's eyes, in turn, went wide and went to his tennis shoes, suddenly very interested in the laces.

* _Don't think to much about it. Don't freak out_ _cuz_ _you're talking to the guy who literally saved a species of people. Don't act like a_ _starstruck_ _moron! Don't think to much, act natural... God, Connor's cute. --Oh shit! Everyone's looking at me._ *

"W-what?" Xavier sputtered. Jesus, he wanted to leave already.

"I was wondering how you're feeling. After all that virus stuff." Markus said.

"Well... I'm alive, aren't I? Haha." he had no idea what the hell he was saying. He pressed Connor's white hand up to his cheek and sighed deeply. Connor smiled softly at the contact.

"If you guys need any help at all with figuring that stuff out, just contact me. But it looks like the murders stopped after you guys chased her down?"

"We're looking into the * _how_ * and Sam's location right now." Hank said. "Got any tips or ideas, give 'em to me or the station."

"Will do, Mr Anderson." Markus nodded. "Anyway. I've got an angry girlfriend to deal with. It was nice seeing everyone. And nice meeting you, Xavier."

Xavier couldn't even look at him. "You-- you too, Ma-Markus..."

Markus chuckled lightly. "Catch you guys around."

As soon as Markus left, Xavier was finally able to breathe.

"Are you experiencing heat stroke, dear?" Connor placed cool hands on Xavier's flushed cheeks. "Or are you just extremely embarrassed?"

"I always turn into a moron around attractive people."

"Well that explains a lot." snorted Connor.

"Oh my god. Hank, get your son before I piledrive 'im."

+

"Connor, you're the egg master." Xavier pointed to the eggs box.

Connor blinked several times, LED yellow, brows knit in clear confusion. "The... The egg... master? What does that mean?"

Xavier was preparing things for the fried rice. Hank was reading through the recipe. Connor was the egg master.

"We need eggs for the fried rice." Xavier explained.

"So you'll need to crack two of those bad boys in the pan once we combine everything." Hank was only just now getting the rice cooker out. "Which might be in a bit."

Connor nodded. "Got it. I'm curious, though, why I've been appointed Egg Master."

"Cuz you cooked me eggs that one morning." Xavier's voice and face were warm. "So now you're the egg dude. Hank's the everything else dude."

"Gee, thanks." Hank snorted.

"Am I only worth two eggs to you, love?" Connor nudged Xavier as he filled the rice pot with rice and water.

"Maybe just one." Xavier teased.

"Well juggling one egg isn't impressive." he took four from the box.

"Oh lord. Connor, you're cleaning up any mess you make." Hank wagged his finger menacingly.

"I wasn't programmed to make messes."

"You also weren't programmed to juggle eggs!"

Either Connor was extremely talented or Xavier was easy to impress. Likely answer was both at once. That look of awe and wonder in his boyfriend's eyes as he juggled something as simple as some eggs was really all Connor needed in life. Well. That, and that stubbornly impressed look Hank wore. His metaphorical heart was filled with joy. He juggled them until he could get to a stopping point and ended with a flourish-- two eggs in his hands, and the other two on top of his knuckles.

"You're so damn cool." Xavier said bashfully, taking the eggs from the android and setting them back on the counter, handsome smile tugging at those kissable lips.

Nope. Now was not the time. And it certainly wasn't the time to think about how cute Xavier was when he was blushing about Markus. Shouldn't he have been jealous about his boyfriend finding another person attractive? That's what all the media said he should feel. Apparently that meant Xavier didn't love him. But such a cute but ultimately meaningless fit of blushing and stuttering didn't make someone fall in love in an instant. Connor trusted Xavier.

But it was best to think about this later.

"What an eggs-elent display, Connor." Hank was grinning ear to ear.

Oh no.

"Yeah, it was real eggs-trodinary." Xavier continued.

"An eggs-tra special trick for sure."

Connor put his hands up, unable to believe his audio processors. "I've heard enough, men."

"Aw, boo." Xavier pouted. But a grin crept on his lips.

Uh oh.

"I guess our puns didn't..." Xavier snickered. "CRACK you up."

Connor facepalmed.

"Guess we should scramble, Xaiv." Hank shrugged.

Fine. This would be the end of this ungodly conversation, if it could even be called that.

"Egg-scuse me, but I'm eggs-hausted now. Omelettin' you yolks off with a warning. I don't egg-spect to hear any more puns from either of you chickens. I hope you follow my eggs-ample and cease."

Xavier was laughing too hard to even look at him. And Hank was just sitting there in disbelief.

Mission succ-eggs-ful.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hank thinks

Hm.

Well.

It was made with love, at least.

To be fair, though, it was their first attempt at making Chinese food. Hank ate his entire bowl regardless and even got seconds, pleased at how little they spent to make so much food.

Xavier visibly disappointed that it didn't taste like takeout. He still ate what he put in his own bowl though. But did not go back for seconds.

"Wanna try some?" Xavier presented a forkful to Connor, who was watching intently. Connor didn't usually do that. When dinner came around he either brought a book or was going through case files. Was he scanning or thinking or something? His LED was a steady blue, so he couldn't have been too upset with whatever he was thinking about.

"As good as it looks, I'd..." Connor paused, then  took the small offering into his mouth, eyebrows raised, causing Xavier to laugh.

"Can you process that?" Xavier asked with a hint of legitimate concern.

"We'll find out." Connor chewed slowly, thoroughly, and cautiously.

After a moment, he swallowed. Tried to come up with some words as both Hank and Xavier looked at him expectantly.

"The taste is... Unique." Connor began. "... I like it, I think. But I'm unsure of how it will go through my body." he admitted.

"I'll put the plumber on speed-dial." Hank snorted, gathering his dishes and washing them.

"Good idea." Connor said of the plumber, a small smile on his face. Jesus, Connor certainly had a glow about him. Did he get laid or something? Hank always joked about it, but he never really had a legitimate talk about things like that.

Well... Would he even have to? He has more knowledge than the average human. He's got a database he can access in a millisecond. Did he even have a...? Never mind. Maybe Hank was thinking too much and too literally about things. Adult androids don't need to be talked to like kids. Especially Connor.

"I think some Draino will clear it right up," Xavier said to Connor, cheek rested on his shiny white hand. Hank couldn't see the goofy grin the man had, but he could certainly hear it. "Just gotta knock it back like a shot."

"You always have eggs-elent advice." Connor snorted.

"I'm gonna kill you."

Xavier... He was an odd one. Face to face with death too many times for a civilian to deal with. Police were trained to deal with that and the stress and emotions that come with it. Xavier was abandoned near after his first brush with it.

How could someone just throw away their fucking son like that? Their own goddamn flesh and blood because he fell in love with an android? Sure, the guy had his flaws and could get real obnoxious sometimes but who doesn't? Why didn't they visit him at the hospital or even give a fuck and fly down?

Hank had tried to contact them at the time. It was met with either a denouncement or a dial tone. They... they just didn't fucking care. They raised that man. They loved him all his life, and just left him at the drop of a goddamn hat?

Fuck them. Fuck them! Sure, Xavier was 30 and could take care of himself, but support and friends were important. Hank appointed himself a fatherly figure of some sort, and along the way Xavier had realised it and accepted it. The kid deserved some comfort when everything else around him was so grim.

The hospital after Connor's episode made him sick. Xavier's eyes were wide and he wasn't responding. Connor had been hauled off for recovery and inspection. Hank was left alone, the family he'd cobbled together now fallen apart. Fear and grief gripped him tight. Suffocated him. He couldn't live through losing them. Especially not Connor.

He couldn't follow Connor. He could only hope and pray that he could be reactivated and intact.

But he could follow Xavier, who was deep in shock for several days.

He could tell him everything would be fine.

And he would be there when Xavier realised how alone he really was.

'No one came down to see me?' his green eyes were still far away.

'Sorry, Xavier.' Hank sighed. 'They're shitty people anyway.'

'Then why did you stay?' Xavier tilted his head. 'I'm a danger magnet. And a fucking idiot.'

'Cuz we gotta stick together.' Hank said firmly. 'Yeah, you're prone to bad shit happening to you, but you still deserve people you can call home!'

Xavier was silent after that. His eyes went down to what was left of his hand, wrapped in bandages.

'Thank you, Hank.' Muscle memory had wanted him to wipe his eyes with his right hand. Xavier's face when he realised nearly winded Hank. 'I can understand if you guys want nothing to do with me anymore.

'Nah. Don't start, kid. We're in this together.'

He couldn't place why he wanted to take this man under his wing. With Connor, they'd been on adventures, life-changing events together. Protecting and being around Connor felt natural after a while. Like his own flesh and blood. Like the son he'd had ripped away from him. Xavier, his barista, though? Even now, he didn't know too much about him.

He loved coffee, liked hockey and reality TV, liked vintage things from the 90's. And loved Connor with everything he had.

Maybe that's why Hank connected with him so much. That, and it just seemed like he had a good heart. He'd kinda have to have one if he managed not to be like his freak cousin Samantha or the pack of android-hating morons that took up Mr Spruce's side of the family.

"'Scuse me, Hank." Xavier nudged him from the sink to clean out his bowl.

Connor's loving eyes seemed to follow Xavier wherever he went.

There were a ton of things the 'deviancy' umbrella didn't explain. Programming, malfunctions and tech could only excuse so much. Yes, androids were alive. But did androids have souls? Did that Connor in the CyberLife tower have a soul? Did androids always have souls, even before they turned deviant?

"Hank? Are you alright?" Connor asked. "Your stress level has gone up considerably. I suggest you drink some water, or I could make you some tea."

"Nah. I'm good. Just overthinking some things."


End file.
